It's a fairly regular occurrence before I drift off to dreamland.
"Jeff," I'll whisper to my sleepy husband.
"Hmm," he'll grunt in response.
"Hold me."
With that, he flops his arm around me and I feel safe. Now, I can sleep.
Please don't misunderstand. I've always been the type to feel like I really don't need any other human being. I like to do things on my own, and pride myself in my independent spirit. Before meeting Jeff, I frequently wore a t-shirt which said, "Got my horse, Got my dog, Don't need no cowboy." That pretty much summed up my life. So, I know that I don't need the security of my husband's sleepy arm around me. But it sure feels nice sometimes.
My newest daily afternoon routine has involved buckling my three girls into the van and going for a ride to allow a much-needed nap for them and break for me. By the time I reach the lake, less than 15 minutes into my journey, they are usually all asleep. There I sit, listen to music, read magazines, and pray. The other day I found myself praying that God would put His arms around and hold each of my children, much as I ask Jeff to "hold me." More than anything, I need Him to hold me, hold my precious children, hold my husband. The enemy is tricky. He can be lurking where we least expect him, which is why I need my Father to hold us tightly and direct us in the ways He wants us to go. Despite my independence from others, I know with certainty that I am absolutely dependent on my Saviour.
Life is an ever-changing journey. Jeff and I have often mused how we never feel "settled." Ohio just doesn't seem like "home." But, what has felt like home? We've come to the conclusion that we'll never feel settled on this earth. We have a far more glorious home waiting for us. In the meantime, I can feel an amazing amount of peace in each moment of every day when I realize that my Father is holding me. He's sitting next to me when I'm at the lake, He's standing beside me as I'm folding laundry, and He's holding on to me when I just don't know where to turn.
"Lord, hold me."
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Fabulous post Mary! Love the analogy - you have a beautiful family! :)
ReplyDeleteMary, this is beautiful ~
ReplyDeleteYou're an inspiration to me
Sending Love and Hugs
Georgiana