Clean Slate

I haven't made a New Year's resolution for a very long time. Instead of failing at something, I decided to spare myself the disappointment. But, this year, I knew a few things had to change.

First and foremost, my personal devotion and prayer life needed a serious overhaul. As a mother, it's easy to make excuses why I can't possibly fit time with God into my day. It's a terrible statement, but it's how I've been living. This is how my day would go. First, I would awake with not nearly enough sleep, feeling far from chipper, and hear one or more children awake. Sorry. No time for Bible reading now. I can't neglect my children. So the day begins. Then, there is the constant needs. A toddler needs a fresh diaper. A baby needs to be fed. The laundry needs to get started. If I don't start supper now, it won't be ready when we need it. And so the day continues. The constant tasks. If there is a rare moment when at least 2 of the 3 children are napping, I feel that I should use that time to shower, for my sake and the sake of my family! The day continues. Nighttime arrives. The children are bedded down. Now, it is time for the neverending list of other random things that need to get done which I can't tackle during the day when little feet are roaming free. I am then in no frame of mind to spend with God, or so I said. And then it would be off to bed for some coveted sleep. Well, things have changed and I am determined to dedicate time to the Lord each day. My goal is mornings, but I know that sometimes things happen, and my heavenly Father understands that. Regardless, I will squeeze that time in every day, even if it is after everyone is in bed. I have already felt much more calm during my days. Things always seem to go just a little smoother when I take the time to spend with God. Of course, the daily trials still occur. Kids still get sick, crayon marks need to be scrubbed from walls, and the baby still wakes up 5 or 6 times at night. But, my attitude and perspective has changed.

2010 was a difficult year filled with many changes. We moved twice. In a sense, it felt like we lost our best friends when my sister and Jeff's brother moved to Kentucky. We had to get acquainted with a new state, a new job, and new baby, a loss of pets, and a lack of any real friendships. We moved away from people we loved, from the church where we were married, from the home where we made so many memories. We lived in a hotel, travelled halfway across the country with a 2 week old, spent countless days in hospitals and doctor's offices, and administered an endless number of breathing treatments. We had lots of adventures, lots of tears, lots of scary moments, and an abundance of blessings. I don't know what 2011 holds. I don't want to know. If I had known everything about 2010, I probably would have wanted to give up on day one. But, thankfully, I have a God who grants me enough stamina for each day that I'm given. With Him, I can handle one day at a time. I'm just thankful that my God generously gives me a clean slate. And if I mess things up again tomorrow, He'll give me another chance. It doesn't have to be January 1st for me to start things anew.