Nurse turned Mommy

Just a few short years ago, I was working crazy 12 hour night shifts in an intensive care unit.  I dealt with cranky doctors, feisty patients, and more lines and tubes than most people would care to think of.  But I knew where each line started and ended, what medications were being infused, and what the physician should have ordered before he left for the night.  High-stress?  Maybe.  Frustrating?  Sometimes.  Messy?  Always.  Rewarding?  Occasionally.

Fast forward several years to my current life as a stay at home mother to three children under the age of three.  Wow.  If only I knew how easy I had it back then!  I actually say that in the nicest way.  I love my children more than words can describe, but sometimes I just can't believe how difficult motherhood is, and how often I feel like I have failed in some way.

When I worked as an RN, I felt confident.  I would pride myself in my ability to stay calm and handle every situation methodically.  As a mother, well, that's a different story!  I am still calm and methodical, but sometimes I don't feel so confident in my mothering skills.

This month, I started my new resolution of spending time each day with the Lord, no matter how hectic life became.  I cannot even begin to describe how different my days have been since doing this.  Most days, I spend my "quiet time" in the morning.  Each day is still crazy and chaotic, but life has seemed brighter to me.  I'm reaching out in new ways, and slowly bidding farewell to pessimism.  I know that all I can do is take one moment at a time by God's great grace.  He gives me the strength to handle the many crises which pop up each day.  Just when I think I'm doing a good job, something happens to humble me and realize that it is not me, but Him.  I have a renewed excitement for the future and the potential of each new day.  I am determined not to dread these difficult years, but to relish the craziness and thank the Lord for providing everything I need. 

All in all, I'm glad I traded my scrubs for my sweatpants.  Instead of calling a doctor in the middle of the night for orders on the new post-op patient, I'm on the line with the Great Physician.  It's easy to follow orders from the One who made my children!  Whether it's potty training, teething, mealtime chaos, or sibling rivalry, I know He has all of the answers.  Since He's not in the habit of giving me perfect formulas with exact solutions to all of my problems all at once, I just keep coming to him every day.  It has made a difference in my life, and I'm not about ready to get rid of a good thing!

High stress?  Not with the Lord by my side!  Frustrating?  Most definitely.  Messy?  Always.  Rewarding?  Every moment of every day!