Thursday, July 5, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Pursuing Perfect Peace
Things have been a bit unsettled in the Lemke household for the past few months. We've been praying about where God wants us right now, and whether or not it is time to move. Everything has seemed to point to moving back out to New Hampshire. It is no secret that I would love to be near my family, and that feeling all alone in the Midwest lost its charm a long time ago. But, I know that if God wants me here, I will make the best of it -- which is how I've behaved in the past two years that we've lived in Ohio. I have tried to get out of the house as much as possible with three small children, and I must say that we've done okay. I've learned a lot, and I know without a doubt that there really is no other friend like Jesus. When the rest of my world is rocky, He is my constant companion, always willing to lend a shoulder to a weary daughter.
In December, Jeff had a promising interview with a company in NH. We excitedly prayed and waited. We received more signs that, yes, this was going to happen. Things were pointing us east. I cleaned out the deep freezer and used up almost all of the food in the pantry. Every day, I checked Jeff's e-mail and asked if he received any phone calls. I kept excitedly planning my next Facebook status: "God is good." "Early Christmas present." "Great way to start the new year." "Answered prayer." And then, after waiting for almost two months, the opportunity fell through, and I felt like we were starting over again. Disappointed, we told ourselves that God has a different plan for us. But, it was really hard for my heart to truly believe that. I felt defeated. I was doing everything right -- right? I had placed it all in God's very capable hands, I didn't badger or plan or connive. I just trusted that it was all going to work out. But then, it didn't work out the way I planned. Hmm -- ironic, I guess. You see, it really was my plan. God led us down that path for a reason, but the reason was not for us to move right now. Jeff and I still believe that the Lord wants us to move east, but we know that it needs to be when He's ready.
So the other day, during a miraculous moment when all 3 girls were napping (a true rarity in this house), I kneeled beside my bed asking my Father for peace. I don't understand. I don't like the unsettled feeling that I have, not knowing if I'm moving next month or next year. There are several other major issues which have been plaguing us; but I know we need to just lay them at the feet of our Creator. But I keep telling myself that I have done this. I'm constantly talking to God, affirming that it's all in His hands. That is why I'm praying for peace -- the peace that can calm the fiercest storm, ease a child's troubled dreams, and quiet the spirits of a young couple seeking the next step for their family. I've always known that my future is in His hands, and I've always willingly given it over to Him. But, my most urgent prayer now is that He will wash us in the calming peace that only He can provide, as we patiently wait for His next instructions.
In December, Jeff had a promising interview with a company in NH. We excitedly prayed and waited. We received more signs that, yes, this was going to happen. Things were pointing us east. I cleaned out the deep freezer and used up almost all of the food in the pantry. Every day, I checked Jeff's e-mail and asked if he received any phone calls. I kept excitedly planning my next Facebook status: "God is good." "Early Christmas present." "Great way to start the new year." "Answered prayer." And then, after waiting for almost two months, the opportunity fell through, and I felt like we were starting over again. Disappointed, we told ourselves that God has a different plan for us. But, it was really hard for my heart to truly believe that. I felt defeated. I was doing everything right -- right? I had placed it all in God's very capable hands, I didn't badger or plan or connive. I just trusted that it was all going to work out. But then, it didn't work out the way I planned. Hmm -- ironic, I guess. You see, it really was my plan. God led us down that path for a reason, but the reason was not for us to move right now. Jeff and I still believe that the Lord wants us to move east, but we know that it needs to be when He's ready.
So the other day, during a miraculous moment when all 3 girls were napping (a true rarity in this house), I kneeled beside my bed asking my Father for peace. I don't understand. I don't like the unsettled feeling that I have, not knowing if I'm moving next month or next year. There are several other major issues which have been plaguing us; but I know we need to just lay them at the feet of our Creator. But I keep telling myself that I have done this. I'm constantly talking to God, affirming that it's all in His hands. That is why I'm praying for peace -- the peace that can calm the fiercest storm, ease a child's troubled dreams, and quiet the spirits of a young couple seeking the next step for their family. I've always known that my future is in His hands, and I've always willingly given it over to Him. But, my most urgent prayer now is that He will wash us in the calming peace that only He can provide, as we patiently wait for His next instructions.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Disney Live comes to Dayton
http://www.domesticdebacle.com/2012/01/28/disneylivedayton/comment-page-1/#comment-5233
We are ready for a break in the Lemke household. The past few weeks have been difficult, and I've been begging Jeff for another Disney vacation. However, since it doesn't look like he'll be getting a significant amount of time off any time soon, I figure that this would be the next best thing. My three little princesses adore the Disney princesses, and dress up time is virtually constant in the Lemke house. Domestic Debacle is running another giveaway, this time for the show in Dayton. Since we are down in the area almost every weekend, it would be perfect for us. Here's hoping for some pixie dust!
We are ready for a break in the Lemke household. The past few weeks have been difficult, and I've been begging Jeff for another Disney vacation. However, since it doesn't look like he'll be getting a significant amount of time off any time soon, I figure that this would be the next best thing. My three little princesses adore the Disney princesses, and dress up time is virtually constant in the Lemke house. Domestic Debacle is running another giveaway, this time for the show in Dayton. Since we are down in the area almost every weekend, it would be perfect for us. Here's hoping for some pixie dust!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Disney Live
I've been meaning to blog for awhile. There's been a lot going on in our lives lately, so I intend to devote some time to that soon. But, for now, I wanted to mention a contest that is going on over at Domestic Debacle. She is offering free tickets to see Disney Live down in Cincinnati. Since it is all about princesses, I know my 3 little princesses would be thrilled! We are all huge Disney fans, and it would give us a little bit of the magic here in Ohio. Check it out at http://www.domesticdebacle.com/2012/01/03/disneylivegiveaway/#more-2443
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Hold Me!
It's a fairly regular occurrence before I drift off to dreamland.
"Jeff," I'll whisper to my sleepy husband.
"Hmm," he'll grunt in response.
"Hold me."
With that, he flops his arm around me and I feel safe. Now, I can sleep.
Please don't misunderstand. I've always been the type to feel like I really don't need any other human being. I like to do things on my own, and pride myself in my independent spirit. Before meeting Jeff, I frequently wore a t-shirt which said, "Got my horse, Got my dog, Don't need no cowboy." That pretty much summed up my life. So, I know that I don't need the security of my husband's sleepy arm around me. But it sure feels nice sometimes.
My newest daily afternoon routine has involved buckling my three girls into the van and going for a ride to allow a much-needed nap for them and break for me. By the time I reach the lake, less than 15 minutes into my journey, they are usually all asleep. There I sit, listen to music, read magazines, and pray. The other day I found myself praying that God would put His arms around and hold each of my children, much as I ask Jeff to "hold me." More than anything, I need Him to hold me, hold my precious children, hold my husband. The enemy is tricky. He can be lurking where we least expect him, which is why I need my Father to hold us tightly and direct us in the ways He wants us to go. Despite my independence from others, I know with certainty that I am absolutely dependent on my Saviour.
Life is an ever-changing journey. Jeff and I have often mused how we never feel "settled." Ohio just doesn't seem like "home." But, what has felt like home? We've come to the conclusion that we'll never feel settled on this earth. We have a far more glorious home waiting for us. In the meantime, I can feel an amazing amount of peace in each moment of every day when I realize that my Father is holding me. He's sitting next to me when I'm at the lake, He's standing beside me as I'm folding laundry, and He's holding on to me when I just don't know where to turn.
"Lord, hold me."
"Jeff," I'll whisper to my sleepy husband.
"Hmm," he'll grunt in response.
"Hold me."
With that, he flops his arm around me and I feel safe. Now, I can sleep.
Please don't misunderstand. I've always been the type to feel like I really don't need any other human being. I like to do things on my own, and pride myself in my independent spirit. Before meeting Jeff, I frequently wore a t-shirt which said, "Got my horse, Got my dog, Don't need no cowboy." That pretty much summed up my life. So, I know that I don't need the security of my husband's sleepy arm around me. But it sure feels nice sometimes.
My newest daily afternoon routine has involved buckling my three girls into the van and going for a ride to allow a much-needed nap for them and break for me. By the time I reach the lake, less than 15 minutes into my journey, they are usually all asleep. There I sit, listen to music, read magazines, and pray. The other day I found myself praying that God would put His arms around and hold each of my children, much as I ask Jeff to "hold me." More than anything, I need Him to hold me, hold my precious children, hold my husband. The enemy is tricky. He can be lurking where we least expect him, which is why I need my Father to hold us tightly and direct us in the ways He wants us to go. Despite my independence from others, I know with certainty that I am absolutely dependent on my Saviour.
Life is an ever-changing journey. Jeff and I have often mused how we never feel "settled." Ohio just doesn't seem like "home." But, what has felt like home? We've come to the conclusion that we'll never feel settled on this earth. We have a far more glorious home waiting for us. In the meantime, I can feel an amazing amount of peace in each moment of every day when I realize that my Father is holding me. He's sitting next to me when I'm at the lake, He's standing beside me as I'm folding laundry, and He's holding on to me when I just don't know where to turn.
"Lord, hold me."
Monday, March 14, 2011
Sweet Victory
At the beginning of the year, I told myself that I would do better about keeping up with my writing. I love getting my words out in this format, but things just sometimes get in the way. We had some more illnesses, and then I had some struggles of my own. I didn't feel worthy to write, and I decided that I needed to get better control of my life before I started writing again. And then, the obvious occurred to me. I can never and will never be "perfect" enough. I don't have to "have it all together" and make a profound statement in everything I write.
Recently, I started to once again listen to the lies that I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not supermom enough. I'm sure we all have those kinds of days, but the key is to "snap out of" that mindset. Sometimes, that's not easy -- especially when you try to do it on your own.
For more than half of my life, I have dealt with an eating disorder. I never thought recovery was possible. I knew that God could do great things -- after all, He's God. But, I didn't think I would ever be healed. I never fully believed, and I never fully committed it to Him -- until I finally sought and accepted help. I had been told countless times to just surrender it to Him, but that is easier said than done when Satan is working on the side of the eating disorder, whispering lies whenever he has a chance. Three years ago, I fully embraced my recovery journey, and my relationship with food and my body changed in a way I never imagined possible. When you have been trapped in such a battle, freedom feels very liberating. But, there are always the occassional difficulties. Every once in a while, those sinister whispers return in a desperate attempt to once again convince me of the lies.
In those moments when I feel that I'm not good enough, that is when I must remember that HE IS good enough. When I feel that I am not pretty enough, I need to remember that HE doesn't create ugliness. Satan does. And since I am a child of God, HE made me beautiful. When I feel like I can't possibly be the supermom I need to be to my little girls, I need to tell myself that HE gives the strength and wisdom and discernment I need to be the kind of mommy that my children need. I may not be enough -- but with Him, I have all I need. And only He can give me the victory. Recovery from an eating disorder doesn't just happen in a day. I don't know of anyone who was anorexic one day and perfectly fine the next. It takes a conscious effort each and every day. It takes a determination to have victory each day over the illness. In the same way, we all, if we are honest, need to make a conscious decision each day to allow Christ to have the victory in our lives for that day. Otherwise, Satan is roaming free -- and his lies are tempting. Let's remember Whose power is greater, Whose words are always true, and Whose victory is sweeter.
Recently, I started to once again listen to the lies that I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, not supermom enough. I'm sure we all have those kinds of days, but the key is to "snap out of" that mindset. Sometimes, that's not easy -- especially when you try to do it on your own.
For more than half of my life, I have dealt with an eating disorder. I never thought recovery was possible. I knew that God could do great things -- after all, He's God. But, I didn't think I would ever be healed. I never fully believed, and I never fully committed it to Him -- until I finally sought and accepted help. I had been told countless times to just surrender it to Him, but that is easier said than done when Satan is working on the side of the eating disorder, whispering lies whenever he has a chance. Three years ago, I fully embraced my recovery journey, and my relationship with food and my body changed in a way I never imagined possible. When you have been trapped in such a battle, freedom feels very liberating. But, there are always the occassional difficulties. Every once in a while, those sinister whispers return in a desperate attempt to once again convince me of the lies.
In those moments when I feel that I'm not good enough, that is when I must remember that HE IS good enough. When I feel that I am not pretty enough, I need to remember that HE doesn't create ugliness. Satan does. And since I am a child of God, HE made me beautiful. When I feel like I can't possibly be the supermom I need to be to my little girls, I need to tell myself that HE gives the strength and wisdom and discernment I need to be the kind of mommy that my children need. I may not be enough -- but with Him, I have all I need. And only He can give me the victory. Recovery from an eating disorder doesn't just happen in a day. I don't know of anyone who was anorexic one day and perfectly fine the next. It takes a conscious effort each and every day. It takes a determination to have victory each day over the illness. In the same way, we all, if we are honest, need to make a conscious decision each day to allow Christ to have the victory in our lives for that day. Otherwise, Satan is roaming free -- and his lies are tempting. Let's remember Whose power is greater, Whose words are always true, and Whose victory is sweeter.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Give it a Rest!
Yesterday morning, after putting the girls on the bus for school, I tried to turn my attention to some things I needed to accomplish around the house. I like to take advantage of the few hours each week when I only have one child to watch, so I can get some housework done. However, Patience was not fully cooperating. I knew my time was limited anyways, since I had to take her to the pediatrician's office for a vaccine, so I was becoming quite annoyed that the baby wanted my attention. Didn't she see the pile of laundry that needed to be folded? What was her problem? She had been changed and fed; and there were piles of toys surrounding her, waiting to be played with or chewed on. But nothing satisfied her. She wanted Mommy, and Mommy just needed to stop and hold her.
I started thinking about how often all three of my children cry for my attention. Often, their needs seem trite to me. Grace took a book away from Hope. Hope threw a toy at Patience. Patience pulled Grace's hair. Many times, I don't even know why they are upset. But the reasons are valid to them, and they need their Mommy to give them comfort and understanding. I wonder how many times we do this to our heavenly Father. I know I am often guilty. So and so never calls me. Why don't I have any friends? Why can't we eat a meal without some sort of meltdown? As pathetic as each of my cries may be, He patiently hears me and gently gives me the comfort that only He can provide.
In my motherhood journey, I quickly learned that a lack of sleep usually results in very cranky children and those seemingly trite complaints become magnified. It always baffles me that my girls fight sleep so much. Who wouldn't want to sleep? I love sleep and would give anything to just be able to set everything aside to sleep for a few hours in the middle of every day. I wonder if the Lord wonders the same thing about me. Why doesn't Mary just stop and rest in Me? Why is she fighting My calm? Her world would not seem so chaotic and futile to her if she just laid all of her cares at My feet each day, before the troubles overtake her and she feels like she just can't go on.
So, amidst caring for a fussy baby, I learned an important lesson. Just as Mommy can make things better when things are out of control for the girls, my Heavenly Father can put the pieces back together when my world is spinning. If Grace, Hope, and Patience would just listen to Mommy and take a nap everyday, they wouldn't be cranky and miserable halfway through the day. If Mommy would just listen to the Lord, she would know enough to rest in Him and let His strength carry her through the day. Slowly but surely, I'm learning; and wow, what a difference it makes!
I started thinking about how often all three of my children cry for my attention. Often, their needs seem trite to me. Grace took a book away from Hope. Hope threw a toy at Patience. Patience pulled Grace's hair. Many times, I don't even know why they are upset. But the reasons are valid to them, and they need their Mommy to give them comfort and understanding. I wonder how many times we do this to our heavenly Father. I know I am often guilty. So and so never calls me. Why don't I have any friends? Why can't we eat a meal without some sort of meltdown? As pathetic as each of my cries may be, He patiently hears me and gently gives me the comfort that only He can provide.
In my motherhood journey, I quickly learned that a lack of sleep usually results in very cranky children and those seemingly trite complaints become magnified. It always baffles me that my girls fight sleep so much. Who wouldn't want to sleep? I love sleep and would give anything to just be able to set everything aside to sleep for a few hours in the middle of every day. I wonder if the Lord wonders the same thing about me. Why doesn't Mary just stop and rest in Me? Why is she fighting My calm? Her world would not seem so chaotic and futile to her if she just laid all of her cares at My feet each day, before the troubles overtake her and she feels like she just can't go on.
So, amidst caring for a fussy baby, I learned an important lesson. Just as Mommy can make things better when things are out of control for the girls, my Heavenly Father can put the pieces back together when my world is spinning. If Grace, Hope, and Patience would just listen to Mommy and take a nap everyday, they wouldn't be cranky and miserable halfway through the day. If Mommy would just listen to the Lord, she would know enough to rest in Him and let His strength carry her through the day. Slowly but surely, I'm learning; and wow, what a difference it makes!
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